At enormous expense and after unrestrained effort, working our web development team for many weeks of 14 hour shifts, THE CINCH REVIEW is now being issued in a format more easily readable on your smartphones, tablets, skateboards and other mobile devices. If you are on one of those devices, no action should be necessary: the fact that you are using such a device will be detected by the gigantic antennas and high-magnification cameras we have erected all around the Cinch HQ, and you will automatically be served a page that should require no resizing, with no fidgety sidebars to worry about.
But be careful while reading on your mobile device. THE CINCH REVIEW cannot be held responsible for injuries sustained due to being distracted while mobile …